You can't stop the beat; but you CAN'T beat the first
1
By JoeCoolRunnings
When I first viewed HAIRSPRAY (2007), I thought it was one of the those musical flicks you could lose yourself in. The energy, the characters, the message(s). But as time went on, and I looked at the trailer to the original 1988 John Waters film--and the original film itself--I found that...well, you know the adage: NOTHING BEATS THE ORIGINAL! I mean, I think about it. Tracy Turnblad went from unafraid though constrained rebel against the "Breakfast Club" chapter (through Ricki Lake) to a ditzy, clueless self-congratulating romantic (via Nikki Blonsky). Penny Pingleton may have been the leading lady's best friend, but at least she was more vocal, and had her own incentive go against the 'black-vs-white' societal grain. In 2007, she just blindly goes along for the ride. [Lay/additional terms: Lesley Ann Powers showed more range and authenticity than Amanda Bynes.] Regarding Edna Turnblad and Wilbur Turnblad...bad boys John Travolta and Christopher Walken had more to do while "getting shorty" in crowning the "king of New York". Waters made Edna 'Divine' and gave Wilbur a strong will in spite of being a Stiller. Shankman lived up to his name, and shanked them--and the others--like raw meat. Motormouth Maybelle knew where she had been because Ruth Brown had been there herself; Queen Latifah came rather late. Amber von Tussell got the highest ratings for the lowest doings because she had "Vitamin C" in her diet--as did Colleen Fitzpatrick. In 2007, down came Brittany's snow and killed the growing, sustainable food. Speaking of snowball effects, rolling stones may gather no moss, but only a Prince called Clayton truly gathers much Seaweed. No beach walks nor shore-searching for Mr. Kelley. Not to mention, The Corny Collins Show was hosted by a progressive, no-nonsense, anti-bullying frontliner (Shawn Thompson), NOT by some grinning, passive doormat (James Marsden). Back to the Von Tussells, Velma often touches to scratch, viciously, with husband Franklin alongside. Thank Sonny and Debbie. Ironically, the best big-screen Catwoman--in my book-- failed to show up claws at the ready. Either that or she had been de-clawed, willingly. Finally, in contrast to St. Gerard, Mr. Getchaheadinthegame proved to be, indeed, the weakest "Link". Goodbye! By the way, you bid Good Morning to Baltimore while IN Baltimore. Not on a Burbank soundstage. It is true: You can't stop the beat; but you CAN stop the piece from going off-key. So let's not dance, eh, Tracy?
